Dear Zelda,

April 29, 2016

4 Comments

1658

Hey everyone! I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything but today I want to share Zelda’s story with you. Zelda’s mom, Macie, lost Zelda at a very young age but she is determined to honor her legacy forever. In true ipittythebull fashion, she wrote her a letter. Here it is…

Hello everyone!

My name is Macie Mendoza and I am the Marketing Coordinator for iPittytheBull. Most of you probably know me as @Thepitsquad or “Zelda’s Mom”. For those of you who don’t know I lost my baby Zelda to cancer on January 25th 2016, She was only a year and a half old. This heartbreaking situation inspired me to turn my pain into something bigger. I wanted to help people who are going through what I went through with Zelda and what so many others are going through everyday. We started the #ZeldaStrong against K9 cancer initiative in her honor. I also reached out to others who’s lives have been touched by canine cancer and asked for them to share their stories. Every week we will have a guest blogger to help us spread canine cancer awareness. So to start us off and in true iPittytheBull fashion I have written a letter to Zelda. John usually writes a letter to all his fosters who have found a forever home so I feel it is fitting to do the same for Z as she has found peace in her forever home, somewhere over the rainbow.

My Dearest Zelda,

There are absolutely no words to describe just how much I love you, and even fewer words to describe how much my heart longs for you. There are days I just can’t find the strength to get up and face the world. I sit and look at your pictures on the wall and watch all the videos I have of you until my eyes are nearly swollen shut.

The day you crossed the rainbow bridge marked a day that would change my life forever, my heart will never be the same without you. You were loved by so many people, no one could explain what it was about you that was so insanely special especially because you were such a handful…and then some! You have always been a fighter, ever since the day you were born. You survived being abandoned at the back door of an animal hospital and survived being a motherless baby. Out of all of your brothers and sisters you were the only one who fought hard enough to survive.

When my mom was fostering you I never in a million years thought you were going to be mine, especially since I was on the hunt for the perfect senior dog to add to my pack, but I’ve been told “ You never get the ones you want, you get the ones you need”. This couldn’t have been more accurate. As you grew and spent more time with my mom and sisters they grew attached to you. My mom pretty much begged me to adopt you because she couldn’t handle the thought of you being adopted by a stranger. So when you were of age, I adopted you. I brought you home and your sister Lola instantly loved you ( she only loves puppies ) but your brother on the other hand was not amused. You were such a funny puppy always getting into some kind of trouble, but we loved you anyway.

Lets fast forward to when we found out you were sick. I still remember exactly where I was sitting when I got the phone call from your vet to share with me the results of sample they had taken from the lump in your neck. Your aunt Bianca was sitting on the couch next to me as I sat in shock. I was so lost, I had no idea what anything he was saying meant. Big medical terms that I had never heard of in my life. It was scary. I just wanted him to explain it to me in a way I could understand, even though I’m not even sure I would have comprehended anything in that moment. All I kept hearing was “ abnormal cells” and “malignant Sarcoma tumors”. My heart felt like it stopped. “How? WHY? This can’t be real.” I wondered how this could have happened, we had only just celebrated your first birthday. You were just a baby. It felt like the earth stopped spinning. As much as I wanted to crawl into bed and never wake up again I knew I needed to be there for you. The fear of how am I going to afford treatment quickly overcame me, I barely made enough to get by as it was and researching the costs I almost gave up hope.

The next morning when I woke up your Aunts Annalisa, Danielle, Alisha and Rachel had already created a fundraiser account for you and had already been promoting it. When I saw it we already had $100! The amount of support we got from all over the world was absolutely incredible! I couldn’t believe it. Because of such generosity you were able to get the treatment that you needed. Our first visit with Dr. Tansey, your oncologist, was great she was very caring and knowledgeable, explained things to us in terms we could understand but she also told me that the type of cancer you had was indeed terminal. That no matter what eventually this would take you away from me. It killed me but I still remained hopeful that some way some how a miracle would happen. She estimated that you would live about 3 months without treatment and maybe 6 months to a year with treatment. Of course I wanted to keep you for as long as I could, little did I know that would only be about four more months.

I truly believe radiation gave me more time with you and I am forever grateful for the donations and your amazing Radiation Oncologist Dr. Askin. Eventually I started to feel it coming, I could see it in you, your light was starting to dim. You were still happy, running around and playful but it just wasn’t the same. You were starting to tell me something and I knew I needed to listen. Tumors started to grow on top of your tumors and they were literally getting larger everyday and I couldn’t stop the bleeding. They were taking over your beautiful face. It killed me. On January 21st we met with Dr. Tansey one last time. I expressed to her my feelings and she also saw the change and encouraged me to make the most of the time I had left with you. That following Sunday we had at gathering at home with the people who loved you most, people came to see you and brought you treats and gifts, you got lots of hugs and food you weren’t normally allowed to have. Everyone was sad in knowing that for most of them this would be the last time they would see you. There was both tears and laughter that day as you entertained us all.

That night after everyone left something happened, you weren’t yourself. I decided to sleep on the couch with you again as I had the nights before. You were struggling to breathe, your tumors
wouldn’t stop bleeding and you were just miserable. I knew that I was going to have to make the hardest decision of my entire life. I was going to have to hold your hand as you crossed the rainbow bridge. The next day surrounded by your loved ones you left this world. I lied on the floor and held you and cried until I could barely breathe. My heart had been torn from my chest but I knew I did what was best for you. With that being said, Zelda my dear, you were the light in my every day and the center of my heart and soul. You are now my angel and we will forever be, #ZELDASTRONG. You have touched the lives of so many and I promise that we will keep your memory alive and try to help others that are fighting the same fight you fought. Because of you lives will be saved. Thank you for being my best friend and my greatest teacher. I love you.

Always,

Your Mom,

Follow #ZeldaStrong on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @ZeldaStrong to learn more about Zelda, canine cancer and more.