Ready… Break

July 13, 2015

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In the past 2 and a half years, I’ve had over 40 fosters come through this house. Some spent their last breath with me; some I kept but the rest of them have found some pretty awesome families. It’s become more than a job. It’s become my passion. Everything I do has become revolved around animal rescue. During this journey, I even found me a girlfriend who not only supports everything I do but shares the same passion. I have found my life’s purpose and people to share it with. Life is good. Actually, I take that back…life is great!

However, these past few months have been some of the most challenging. I took in a disabled German Shepherd (Pirate, now Murphy) who was missing his back paw and half of his other essentially making him a two legged dog. I took in a stray pittie who ended up being pregnant and ended up having 8 gorgeous puppies. However, between taking Murphy to therapy appointments in LA 3 times a week (which is about 2-4 hours there and back depending on traffic) and taking care of the puppies, my time has been spread thin, to say the least.

A few weeks ago, I was cleaning the puppy kennel and I looked over and saw Murphy playing with the puppies outside. It made me feel so good to see the fosters happy and being in a home environment but I also realized another thing. These weren’t my dogs. My dogs were inside in their crates. Normally, having them in their crates is no big deal. They actually like their crates and it’s where they go when I leave the house. However, while I’ve been taking care of my fosters, my dogs have been in 2 different scuffles. At that moment of feeling accomplished, I also felt the feeling of failure with my own dogs. My fosters were better behaved than my own pack and I had nobody to blame but myself.

I actually went 2 months without walking any of my dogs because I was so consumed with the fosters. And my pack was feeling it. By the end of the day, I was too tired to do anything and they were getting the short end of the stick. Fletcher no longer wanted to be in his crate. He was trying so hard to get out of it that he was hurting himself while he was in there which meant Penny had to go in her crate next to him because if she wasn’t he would get even more anxious. Elvis usually stays out but because he hadn’t been getting his walks and exercises, he started to chew stuff up around the house. Snack Pak was getting cranky and Wally was even feeling it by picking on Fletcher and actually causing a couple fights. These 4 are such a HUGE part of what I do and somehow they got lost in the shuffle. My family was missing me. They needed their routine back. They needed me back.

So I started waking up a couple hours earlier and taking MY dogs for a walk. I made sure everyone was taken care of first and then I would tend to my fosters. But even though they were being tended to first, I was exhausted. I could feel my health getting bad again and the last thing I needed was to end up in the hospital again. You can lie about how you’re feeling to every human in your life but your pets will always call you out on everything. They knew I wasn’t feeling my best and as a result, my once balanced pack was unraveling. How the heck was I supposed to help anyone with their dogs when I couldn’t even handle mine? So I reached out for help and I had friends come over to help me clean the puppy kennel so I wasn’t so rushed on my walks. I was actually able to enjoy my dogs and be WITH my dogs and not just “walk” them.

Well, as of yesterday, there are no fosters in my house. Everyone has found a home! It’s just me and my pack. And I think it’s time to take a break from fostering. I need to get my family right again. I need to get Fletcher right and feeling confident again. Who am I fooling, I need to get ME right again and everyone will follow suit. And once I get that balance back, I will take in another foster and we will get back to our routine. But no matter what dog I take in, I will wake up every morning and take care of my family first. I will never again not take my dogs for their daily walks and exercises for an extended amount of time. I will never again make excuses as to why I can’t take care of my dogs and just assume they’ll be ok. We are all a team and somewhere along the way I lost track of that and thought I could do all of this myself. I will never stop fostering but I also know if I can’t have a house divided and that’s exactly what I managed to do but I’ve made steps to fix it and I can already see a change in the energy around here.

I’m so thankful for beautiful girlfriend. She’s so patient with everything and I know we don’t have a “normal” relationship but she’s here day in and day out. But she also has a 6 year old little girl who’s been begging me to go to her karate classes and be her volunteer, which I have not been able to do. And while she understands I have animals to take care of, she’s made it very clear that she needs me to. I will get to go to her first class this week and I can’t wait!

The empty rooms in my home will be a constant reminder that there are dogs in need of foster but I need a break. I need to recharge my batteries. But I promise I will be back and I will have 4 dogs and pig recharged, as well! And “Foster Farms” will be back up and running in no time!!

**If you’re interested in fostering for Priceless Pets please contact them at www.pricelesspetrescue.org and if you’re not close to the area, check out your local no kill rescue. I’m sure they would love to hear from you!**